Fear-Induced Inertia Loses Out to Irrepressible Boredom

I think I have what can only be described as a strangely self-deprecating yet simultaneously arrogant view of my abilities. See, I've wanted to do this whole casual writing thing for quite some time now, but I've been consistently thwarted by my own peculiar insecurities. Why write when someone has assuredly already written about whatever it is that I feel I need to write about (and probably done it far more adequately than I ever could)?

I imagine that many a burgeoning writer* have had this sudden, terrible, epiphany where they come to the realization that they will never add anything of intrinsic value to the literary tradition. That their brilliant ideas, their fabulous tales, or their meticulous research have already been conceived of, committed to beautiful prose and disseminated. Why publish at all if you're certain your work will be necessarily derivative? This stupid sensibility has meant that I'm petrified to write anything at all, because I fear that I will have somehow been negligent in my efforts and I'll soon realize that the piece I've slaved over for hours will turn out to be totally unoriginal and pedestrian.

I've come to understand that this is actually a ridiculously arrogant frame of mind. I'm too afraid to write because I'm paralyzed by the thought that I might not be considered in the same class as masters of the written word? I give up before I begin due, not to the lack of interest or even perceived ability necessarily, but rather to the fear that I won't be supremely talented?

That's rich.

So I woke up this morning convinced that I needed to stop being such an enormous bastard; that I needed to suck it up and just get started. That inspiration turned into this meandering explanation. Bottom line is, although it might turn out that I don't have anything worthwhile to contribute, there's no way to know without actually doing it. So with that dubious mandate, I'm off and running. Let's see how it goes, I hope I don't end up spectacularly wiping out...



*for the record I'm not a burgeoning writer, that would imply that I actually write. I do not, well at least up to this point I haven't seriously dedicated myself to the task.